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Why I Detest Yankee Swaps

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One good thing about being unemployed during the holiday season is that I don't have to participate in the obligatory office yankee swap. I hate to sound like a scrooge, but this antiquated gift giving custom has got to be kicked to the curb already. The major problem I have with it is that it's only guaranteed fun for one person. Let me explain...

In case you don't know what a yankee swap is, it works like this...everyone brings in a wrapped gift, and picks a piece of paper with a number on it...the numbers correspond with the number of participants. The person who picks number one gets to choose the first gift and they hold onto it. The person who chose number two picks and opens up another gift. Now they have the option of keeping said gift, or swapping it with number one. And so on and so on until all of the gifts have been opened. The person who picked number one now has the option of making a final swap with somebody, or keeping their gift.

Do you see why this system is so flawed? There's only one person who makes out during a yankee swap, and that's the lucky person who was number one!

Now before you shout at me, "But GoRetroPam, it's the thought that counts!" I'm going to cut you off right there and tell you that that's exactly the problem--a lot of people are just NOT thoughtful when choosing a gift for a yankee swap that anyone could like, and use, and that has a value of around $25 (or whatever the specified amount was when the email went around.) I've seen absolute classless crap offered at yankee swaps--Chia Pets and items that are-so-obviously re-gifted junk (like brass elephants, Tupperwear, etc.) that someone wanted to unload. Some people bring in gag gifts, and others offer gift certificates worth $100, or scratch tickets that could either be worth a fortune or a giant goose egg.

By the way, Amazon actually has a section of suggested gift ideas for yankee swaps on their site. Here's just a few of the items they suggest: a nice wine opener, a set of martini glasses, a subscription to the Food Network magazine, a Kindle (!) and a Toastmaster coffee mug warmer.

How many of these gifts have I ever personally seen at a yankee swap? Zilch.

I've seen upper management swap entry-level employees for the most luxurious and generous yankee swap gifts, snatching them right out of their hands when these people probably made $30K a year and could have enjoyed treating themselves and their significant others to a selection of Omaha Steaks, or a visit to a local spa.

Then there was the year I got stuck with a page-a-day desktop calendar that couldn't have been worth more than $10. The donator was our department's only man, and a very socially awkward one at that, who asked me as he walked past my desk, "You don't like my gift, do you?" WTF?

After getting burned at too many of these things, I decided not to participate in the last one my last company held, which was a wise decision. We then got a new HR manager who discontinued the yankee swap in favor of an ugly sweater contest...which I also never participated in, since being the fashionable woman that I am, I do not own any ugly holiday sweaters. And why would anyone buy one, when the cash prize was for less money than what they paid for the sweater at Walmart?

Bah humbug!

Readers, I'd love to hear from you...do you love or loathe yankee swaps? And what's the best and/or worst gift you ending up with at one?

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