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The Most Awful Knitting Idea Ever Conceived

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I've been knitting since I was 10 years old, so trust me when I say I've come across some horrendous knitting patterns in that time, which includes the 1980s and 1990s decades, after all. Other retro blogs have also showcased bizarre 1970s-era fashions to knit ranging from dickies to bodysuits for men. 

But nothing could prepare me for the knitwear booklet cover above, that I found on the appropriately-named blog The Knitting Needle and the Damage Done

This is, without a doubt, the....Worst. Knitting. Idea. Ever.

Gee, do I want to begin with making the Klan hood? Or maybe one of the rapist starter kits? 

The ONLY conceivable idea I can dream up for wanting this knitting pattern would be to use Fun Fur yarn and knit yourself a Wolfman mask for Halloween. But even that's a stretch. And the saddest thing to me, as a knitter, was learning that the patterns were designed by Meg Swansen. That name may not mean much to the average person, but Swansen is the daughter of Elizabeth Zimmerman, a VERY talented knitwear designer and former columnist of Vogue Knitting, among other prestigious knitwear achievements!

I'm creeped out looking at it. I got even more creeped out when I realized the father looks like he's sticking his tongue out and that the kid in front is poking the apple pie with his finger. Wait a minute...what is the point of putting an apple pie in the shot? The marketing people must have figured putting a warm, homey apple pie would tone down the unsettling feeling and make us think this was a nice, average, all-American family. 

When they're not carrying out robberies and murders on the weekends. 

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